The ongoing struggle…

Today’s been pretty horrible, truth be told. I spent a very pleasant morning with my son while my wife had a lie-in, but since then it’s been downhill all the way. I’ve got a lot of work on at the moment and had to spend most of today trying to get as much of it done as possible. I have several deadlines on Tuesday, with one commission likely to require me to do a fair bit of work tomorrow as well.

I perhaps wouldn’t have such an issue with working over the weekend if I was feeling 100%. Heck, in the past I’ve been happy to work evenings and weekends where necessary, knowing that I was earning money to support my family. But my current health issues are making that incredibly difficult. I’m getting tired, irritable and bored with my work. Every aspect of it feels like a chore. I’m in almost constant discomfort and the medication I’m on seems to be doing very little to ease it in any way.

I’m due to go to E3 in a couple of weeks, and to be honest if there was any possible way I could get out of it I think I would do. For starters, I’m not sure I’m ready for two twelve-hour plane journeys, and secondly if my health takes a turn for the worse while I’m in the States, I’ll have no-one to help me feel any better. I’m reluctant to spend time away from Mel and James as it is – I always swore that I wouldn’t ever turn into one of those dads that’s always away on business – but to do so when I’m feeling far, far below my best seems like the worst idea ever. I’m beginning to wonder why I agreed to go in the first place.

I’m sorry if this all sounds like a wallow in self-pity, but it’s not intended as such. I just need some kind of outlet to get this off my chest, and I guess this is the best way for me to do it. Plus, I was struggling for inspiration when it came to today’s entry, so an outpouring of my current feelings seemed like the way to go. Hopefully, normal service will be resumed soon.

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